Against the Wind

Sometimes life seems pretty easy.  We have a roof over our head, food on the table, reasonably fashionable clothes to wear to our decent job.  It may not be ideal in moments, but hard, it is not.  Even when we are overwhelmed by life–the baby crying,  the deadline looming, the confrontation awaiting that is more of a pit in our stomach–we’re okay by most standards.

But what happens when it’s hard–even the challenging moments–become more than just challenging? How do we cope?  What happens when we feel like we’re swimming in mud going no where or running against the wind?

I had one of those moments recently.  I was running against the wind.  I was cold.  I couldn’t focus on anything but how absolutely freezing I was (and no, I’m not dramatic at all).  My breathing was off, I felt myself going faster just to try and make the wind stop (how silly is that?), my ears were freezing.  I could focus on nothing beyond how cold I was and just how much easier it would be if I weren’t running against the wind. I would rub my bare arms, hold my ears and pray that there would be relief.

This weekend our message at church was allowing God to be the center of our universe and taking our seat on the edge of our universe.  I often talk about how I want God to be the center of my life, in the driver’s seat, etc.  I sing the song, I pray the prayer and ask God to be in control.  However, I had never really thought of myself “on the edge.”  What happens when you’re on the edge?  When was the last time you were on the edge?  Bungee jumping?  At a crazy, scary, turn-by-turn action movie? Skydiving?  Being on the edge does not relate a huge amount of comfort to me.  “Dude–you’re a little on edge.  Are you okay?” Being on the edge does not mean I’m comfortable–it’s the exact opposite.  Being on the edge and allowing Christ to be in the center is scary.  It’s uncomfortable.  Just like running against the wind.

Sometimes, those of us who exhibit some stubbornness do everything in our power to convince ourselves that running against the wind is okay.  That’s the way it was meant to feel.  Seriously?  Your earlobes are not supposed to be that cold.  Ever. I was still trying to exhibit a bit of control by crawling away from the edge to justify the wind.

Running against the wind is not easy.  But this life is not to be easy.  It is to be uncomfortable.  We are to have challenges. Letting someone else take the reigns is not an easy task.  Allowing Christ to be the center is like running against the wind.

The great thing though, is that eventually, the course takes a turn, the path changes directions and the wind is not nearly as intense.  That long line of obedience pays off.  The uncomfortable nature of pressure of being on the edge now has become normal and easy.  You’ve hit your stride.  When those challenging moments come again–when the course turns another dark direction–the wind is not nearly as intense.

God-help me to see you from my view from the edge.  May I sit on the edge and admire the view and trust in your plan.


Join me for a book club on a book I’ve really been wanting to read!  Brene Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection over at The Clothes Make the Girl.  Can’t wait for my book to get here!