January Coffee Chat


Photo by Tim Wright on Unsplash

**Imagine we meet up at our favorite spot and have a few minutes to catch up…here goes…

I slowly walk in, scanning the room for your familiar, warm face. The brisk winter air and the warmth of the shop fogs up my glasses so it takes a minute longer to refocus.  As I’m unbundling my scarf and taking off my gloves I walk to the counter and order a cappuccino-my favorite “speciality” drink out these days.

I sit and breathe in the psuedo-silence.  There’s the hum of the espresso machine, and the chatter of other patrons.  I let my eyes fall shut and then I hear a bell–in you walk.

Our drinks arrive and we greet one another with a hug saying it’s been too long, but both clearly understanding that this season is one of hubbub and then silence.  It always is; that transition from busy, busy holiday commitments to New Year’s resolutions/goals/intentions/words and snow and cold.  It makes everyone slow down.

We chat about our venture into the new year, me telling you how for once I didn’t have my typical solo-date out at this very coffee shop where I’d drink endless amounts of drip coffee (after a specialty of course) and scour through the latest goal setting workbook I’d downloaded.  I had finally settled on one as it seemed to be the length I was looking for and something put together by folks my heart was leaning toward in this season. You hadn’t heard of Hello, Goodbye, so we discussed the accompanying podcast I listened to after quickly working through. I rolled my eyes and you tenderly placed your hand on my arm and reminded me to give myself some grace.  With the sickness that plagued our house during the holiday, to being extremely busy with some exciting work projects, things were just going to look different in this season, and that’s okay.

You mentioned that you had settled on your word for the year.  I joked that I settled on a phrase which was ironic that it couldn’t be narrowed down to a word.  Slow and simple.  They both have such a different meanings though.  You nodded and smiled as I mentioned these two words.  So true and needed for our time as we both looked around the now crowded shop, folks in line for their drink scrolling on their phone or checking the clock, eye-rolling at how long it was taking to get their drink.  Our words shared some of the same intention and you mentioned some things you were doing to help keep your focus on yours. You’re working on getting up earlier each morning. I mentioned I was really trying to be less tied to my phone but it wasn’t going so well. It’s such a nasty habit I’ve formed.  I bought a charging station for all our devices. I’ve downloaded the Moment app to track how much time I spend on my phone. I keep going back and forth on deleting certain apps–Facebook for one–but I’m so in love with the morning worship Crossroads is doing on there Monday-Friday at 7:30 I keep it on for that reason alone as some days I’m still walking into my office at that point and it’s been such a fantastic way to start the day.  Speaking of Crossroads, you mention you heard something about the new series that just started.  Yup, How not to be a jerkface.  And it’s just as incredible as the title sounds. Seriously, the perfect start as we’re thinking about these new year’s intentions.

You share a bit about the jerkface encounters you’ve had and you’ve been. I nod in full agreement–I’ve been there too. Literally on my way to church last week to hear this first sermon, someone honked at me when the light turned green as I was trying to find a lipstick at the light.  Actions vs. Intentions.  Every. Single. Time.

That statement –actions vs. intentions–easily shifts us to talk about work and kids. Your work is going well-keeping you busy but the days are passing quickly.  The latest photos of your littles are adorable and we both comment that we can’t believe how quickly time passes and out big all our kids now are.

But back to the year.  There seems to be so much pressure anymore to reinvent yourself every turn of the calendar.  What if we thought of each day like that? I’ve been working harder to look at 90-day goals and monthly goals. But sometimes (as you reminded me earlier) I have to give myself grace. 2018 has started out very slow.  Which is honestly how I landed on my word. Not as much traction in my writing. Not as much advocating for my Beautycounter business. But we’ve been meeting some of those monthly goals. We discuss our strategy for eating at home and sticking to our new budget (the answer? communication, go figure!). You mention  you think it’s okay to scale back and focus on the day-to-day.  We agree that’s why most “New Year’s” goals/resolutions/intentions have failed in our own lives (and perhaps others).  There’s just so much glitter and fanfare about doing this big thing that we forget about the actual thing.

I then start to tell you about another Annie Downs podcast that rocked my world this week about Sabbath. We’ve talked about this numerous times during our coffee chats, but this discussion pulled on my heartstrings.  And reinforced that slow and simple is the way to go.

Our coffees are almost empty and a quick glance at our watch reminds you of your next appointment. Before you head out, you look me square in the eye and remind me that my goal is valid and my phrase is on point. Slow and simple. That’s all we really need. And that you want to hear more about these 90-day goals at our next coffee chat.

As we’re starting to bundle up before we leave, you ask again about the Crossroads series, so I pull out my phone and we watch the trailer. A quick hug and you’re on your way and I pull out Hello, Goodbye from my bag to review one more time…


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