Being pregnant makes you question everything.
Can I eat this?
Can I take a hot bath? (Not too hot, they say)
Is this stomach cramp normal? (yes, some women have cramps in early pregnancy–didn’t know that one).
Can I lift that box, chair, etc or is it over the weight limit I’m to avoid?
As someone who has recently uncovered and named a struggle with mild anxiety, questioning everything can lead to being anxious about a lot of things. Not only has this impacted everything related to nourishing myself and a baby, but everything.
Is this the right decision?
How might this be interpreted?
What if this crashes and burns?
Is it even worth the effort?
I’m so grateful that for both of these lists and lists of inner questions, I have a tight circle of trusted friends who know me and know my tendencies. And this is the bottom line to what I’ve been told. (Thanks to them and Momastary)
I’m not gonna have all the answers. I certainly will make mistakes. But I just need to keep showing up.
This summer I showed up at a coffee shop in downtown Lex and wrestled through Jennie Allen’s Anything Study. As we wiped the sleep out of our eyes at 6:30 am, we admitted that many of our fears to truly saying “Anything” to God was the fear of perception of others. What if I do say “no” to that amazing retirement plan to go teach in a third world country? What if I get my Ph.D. and then don’t know what to do? What will my husband/parents/best friends think about this radical obedience?
I was reminded from someone in the group recently about one of Jennie’s statements from Restless:
Comparison is often why our important roles shrink to seem insignificant. Comparison robs us of the joy of obedience.
A lot of my anxiety comes from worrying about what other people think. Let’s be honest–we all do. We post something on social media and obsess over how many likes or comments we’ve received. We send an email and expect a response before any normal person would even have time to read the novel we sent.
I want to change my comparison to obedience.
Do the next right thing.
And then move on. Close the browser, get back to work, go take a walk, pick up the phone or walk down the hall in my office and have a meaningful conversation with someone. Stop being so obsessed with trying to be accepted and know that I’ve already been accepted by Christ and that is all that matters.
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.-I Peter 5:7
Check out my other #Write31Days challenge entries here.