My dear friend Vivian is letting me “steal” her entry from this week…it was just too good to not pass along to a few more readers.
our little bushki is sick. he is getting two teeth on the bottom and just like every time he has gotten teeth before he has a fever. only this time he is older and the fever is worse. last night it was up to 102.5 and that is the highest he has ever had – thank goodness. but for him, it is really bad. poor baby was almost shaking he was crying and so upset. i was ready to cry and jesse and i tried everything to get him to calm down. even his “love bug” book didn’t work and that has been his favorite of the week. we finally got him back down and i sang over him like i do when he is upset and he went to sleep. today was just as rough, he at least takes really great naps when he is sick but when he is up he is so miserable, i feel so bad for him.
however, by the end of today, i too was not feeling my best and i was exhausted. jesse has been working late the past two nights (not home until 10, say what? is it tax season, no, no it is not) and xander just needs lots of extra attention and cuddling time. thankfully tonight he was home by 6:30 and we were able to do a little family walk and just be together some before putting little man down.
jesus is faithful though and today in my devotions i was reading (with xander whining next to me so i finally let him chew the heck out of my pen) and i found that even the greatest people of god sometimes are at the end of their rope. in 1 kings 19 elijah (who was just used mightily by god like days before) runs for his life, sits under a tree and prays to die. in fact, in my bible, his words are “i have had enough lord…” man can i relate. or can i? my devotion was pointing out that we really don’t go through half the stuff that they went through and we still complain. no jezebel is trying to track me down to kill me – that i know of anyhow. however, to me today, it just hit home. sometimes we’ve just had enough. and i think stories like this are in the bible to remind us that our god is big enough for our complaints. he wants to hear when we are tired. and more than that, he wants to provide in the meantime. after elijah prays the next thing you know he’s got an angel telling him to eat the food that literally came from heaven and then the lord directs him to keep on moving.
i feel better already. sometimes, we just need to remind ourselves that it is okay to be tired, okay to tell jesus and okay to allow him to bring us the rejuvination that he has for us so that we can keep on moving doing whatever it is he has called us to do (stay at home and raise our children to know him, provide financially for our family, show him to our friends and family that don’t know him, etc) i’m just happy to see that even the greatest men of faith sometimes said things like “i have had enough.”